Imagine that every time you get into your car and drive, you get this horrible smell. You try everything to try to get rid of it. You drive with the windows open, you spray strong air freshener. You hang up an air freshener, You hoover it out and wash down the seats..... Nothing works... In the end you bring it into the garage. The mechanic takes one whiff and says " You are burning the clutch. You are leaving your foot on the clutch as you are driving." He tells you that "if you take your foot off the clutch and only use it when you need it, the smell will go" but "If you keep on doing it, it will cause a lot of damage"
Now you can do something about it. Up until now you didn't know what was causing the problem so you couldn't fix it.
This problem started when you were learning to drive. We all know how scary it is, you have two feet and three pedals. It feels safe or comforting to leave you foot on the pedal, at least you know were it is. It feels like a solution in the beginning but soon becomes a problem.
When we are younger, we take on different beliefs and make decisions that seem to work at the time or they may even work at the time. We develop certain strategies to cope with different experiences and events. We may stay away from certain places, Objects, events. In the belief that we cant handle them. We may develop fears or anxieties. These become the "smell" We try lots of different solutions, Maybe Food, Alcohol, Drugs (Legal or Illegal), or simply behaviors. All of these temporary solutions are burning the clutch. We are so much safer in life now than when we were learning "To drive" We don't need to keep our foot on the clutch. We can drive now. Stop with the "Air fresheners" Trust in what you know NOW, as the adult you are. Keep your mind open to everything and don't attach it to anything. Amaze yourself with your ability to experience life.